The Problem is .. ”I remember everything!”

Bahaulddin Rawi.

Bahaulddin Rawi.

By: Bahaulddin Rawi

I am a young man who fought between the tides in order to free himself from the destructive traditions and habits that swept my country and my city .. My beloved city (Ramadi) in Western Iraq, the city that suffered a lot from terrorists (ISIS), killing innocent people and burning everything by militias.

At that time my father (retired artist) decided to move and leave the house after the warfare that we faced then we became like Sinbad, homeless family from city to city. At the climax of this tragedy I decided to escape from the arms of Iraq, who sold his children and displaced his sons to the unknown world, subsequently I decided to ride the sea perhaps it would be more merciful and gracious than the civil wars and extreme religious fanaticism which I had it.

I left my big family in Anbar between the hammer of control (ISIS) and the anvil of the danger that the difficulty of joining my travel and their inability to endure what I endured, but still dreaming to meet them in the near future.

Maybe these are simple words or perhaps spontaneous but reflecting the size of the suffering that led me to the risk and in order to arrive the Paradise yes Paradise. I left my big family in Anbar between the hammer of control (ISIS) and the anvil of the danger that the difficulty of joining my travel and their inability to endure what I endured, but still dreaming to meet them in the near future. Then I started the first step into the unknown when the refugee’s feet touched the border, which is not his ones, and the feeling of boredom, frustration and waiting for the unknown future is already enlarged.

Far away from the homeland, without family, no loved people, no friends and the idea of my homeland becomes intertwined with tears, heartbreak, anxiety, traumatic memories and many questions.

My journey started when I left Iraq to Turkey then to the Greece as a rueful ousted who boarded a boat for his destiny, either swallowed up by the sharks and waves or to reach land safely, waiting for the police and the investigators questions while my feet touch the mainland. All the while some of the young people that joined my journey riding the sea didn’t leave their countries out of necessity, but (unfortunately) because of their craving for adventure and their dreams of the luxury of Europe.

So, during that journey I passed certain stations began in Turkey, Greece, Macedonia, Serbia, and then to Hungary (which was the worst in my journey) where we hid ourselves for hours and we crossed with dense trees in addition to that, our fear of the Hungarian police to catch us then I went to Austria and stayed two days and flied illegally to Sweden and from there to Finland.

Oh God, we suffered a lot in our journey from the Greece to Finland, we had tough difficulties where we were staying in cramped rooms and sometimes slept in the streets and sat on the ground while the images of bombardment, racist militias, terrorist groups and wars didn’t leave our memories and still in our naps.

Finally I reached Finland, a country of peace, and this is very important to be safe but there are many things that I lost. My life became a wandering and my feelings trembling, over and above I started to detest myself for the umpteenth time when I hear them call me (refugee) over and over again where I did not come here to be a burden on anybody, I never imagined that I would lose my job, my home, my city, my dearest brother, my family and leave my Homeland where I grew up 28 years in it. I came to look for safety and a decent life and the future, which I’ve always dreamed about, so …. I wish the Finns sympathize with me and accept me as a “human being” and no other names and affiliations.